As women and as mothers, we obtained unrealistic ideas about what our home, family, and ourselves should be. Where did these unrealistic ideas come from? We’re saturated by it in the media, in our circle of friends, in our families, in the community, in the society, and even in our churches. And I’m right in the mist of it.
I follow blogs written by Stepford wife-ish mothers of five neatly dressed, intelligent, creative, and well-behaved children. They also design, invent, and create crafting things, blog about it, take amazing photography of their work, and post tutorials online for everyone to enjoy. They feed their family homemade meals made from scratch, read the latest bestseller books, contribute to their community and schools, and exercise. They are on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, and Flickr promoting their websites. They freelance for other blogs or magazines and write books. At least that’s what it seems like in my mind.
I have friends who have the bikini body 5 months after the birth of each child. They wear the fashionable wardrobe dazzled with the cutest jewelry. Their homes decorated with matching furniture and decorations.
Me? My picture is nothing like that. My waist and thighs are holding on to 10 pounds leftover from my first daughter. My house is relatively clean most of the time and it’s because of my OCD tendencies. But walk into my house unannounced you would find dishes in the sink, toys scattered on the floor of every room, books off the bookshelves, and dusty furniture. We eat PB&J at least once a week for lunch. And what’s that E word that I need more of in my life? Oh yeah, exercise.
However, I recently came to an important realization: Most of what we see of others and in the media is not really how it is. There is a behind the scene to every thing and everyone. I love that in the September issue of Glamour Magazine, they had a photo of a beautiful woman belly and all. It has caused quite the response from people everywhere applauding Glamour for showing a real woman. Another recent post by Vanessa Christenson on her blog, V and Co., displayed a picture of her messy house. Letting her readers know that she is like any other mom. I love it! Then Gabrielle Blair of Design Mom took us behind the scenes on a photo shoot for her article in the September issue of Parents Magazine. The process it took to get the room set up just right with the correct lighting and so forth is a lot of work to make it magazine worthy.
I think the sooner we realize that everyone has ups and downs, good days and bad days, strengths and weaknesses the happier we will be. Rather than comparing ourselves to others and feeling inadequate, use it as a driving force to motivate you to be better and do the best you can. Me included. Don’t stress over the little things. Will your children remember the times you played with them or the times you spent cleaning the house? I think time management is key. How we spend our time will determine the memories we will have years from now. What kind of memories are you making for yourself and your family?
Thank you! I really needed this post, here’s to happy memories spent playing and laughing even if the floor needs a mop
You know I have come to the same conclusion as well. I feel that is more important to be able to spend quality time with my kids than to fold the laundry that is sitting on my bedroom chair for the past month. (I just cover it with a blanket if I don’t want to see it)
Because I feel that I have to be supermom all the time just goes to show that I spend more time on my house and such than doing something worth while with my kids. Or taking a moment to teach them a life lesson if one should pop up during the day.
I don’t have the time or the energy to be able to do it all. Even if I do continually try. Shew! I am pooped just writing all that. It is nice to know though that the women we look up to to be like aren’t perfect either.
So true. I think sometimes there are those who are excellent at managing time and maybe function a little better on less sleep than others. I have a friend who when I read her posts on facebook I instantly get crabby and feel bad about the type of mom/wife/christian I am. But then I realize that I would much rather dance around the living room with my boys than clean nonstop “just in case” someone stops by. I realize the days are coming when they won’t think it is so great to dance around with mom. Or just maybe if we continue to do it, it may become something that secretly enjoy for years to come and continue to do it just like my brother and I did with my mom.