I’ll let Jim introduce himself… Jim, aka BusyDad, used to be able to blame his parenting stumbles on being a first-time dad. As of May 20, that convenient line became obsolete with the birth of his daughter — which means he’s now in the race of his life to get all of his tidbits of parenting wisdom onto the internet, where expertise is just a matter of Googlability. Luckily, he has a blog for that. Even more luckily, he has a day job, say those who have read his blog. Jim resides in Los Angeles, where he often wonders what life would be like if he dressed up as Bruce Lee and let tourists take pictures with him on Hollywood Boulevard. This is Jim who simply said…
How many children do you have? What are their ages?
I have an 8 year old boy and an 11-day old baby girl. Based upon that, I hereby reserve the right to answer incoherently, or even in grunts.
What made you start a dad blog? And how do you keep up with blogging while doing everything else?
When I started my blog, my job required me to ride the LA Metro for 4 hours a day. I tried reading, but I fall asleep when I read. Falling asleep on the train is the urban equivalent to being the lame gazelle. So I started a blog. As far as balance goes, the simple answer is “I don’t.” I blog when I have spare time. Which is spin-speak for “do I even still have a blog??”
What kind of subjects and topics do you like to write about for your dad blog?
When I started out, I wrote about more universal parenting topics. I mentioned my family, but only as a reference point. Because, really, who gave a hoot about me? However, as more people started reading my blog and getting into my life, the blog evolved more into a journal of my personal anecdotes and adventures with my son. One of these days, I’m sure I’ll simply post “Had breakfast at IHOP with my kid. What’s the deal with red day-glo syrup?!” and justify it with “enquiring minds want to know!” Yeah, my best days are behind me.
What is something you would never thought you would do but has done since becoming a dad?
Spit clean my kid. I used to hate when my mom did that. You know when you lick your finger and then use the wet finger to clean a smudge of toothpaste off your kid’s face as he exits the car to go to school? Now I understand the tough split-second choices my mom had to make.
What is your favorite thing to do with your children?
With my 8 year old I love to just talk about stuff. Kids have a hilarious and pure way of interpreting the world around them. It’s comic gold. Engaging in conversation with your kid is like panning for blog fodder. With my 11-day old daughter, I just like to smell her baby hair. I also get a kick out of seeing her making Marlon Brando (circa The Godfather) faces.
In your family, what roles or tasks do you have as a father? What are your daddy duties?
My wife and I pretty much both do everything. There really isn’t anything in the parenting realm that we designate as a mom or dad task. That’s why this breastfeeding thing is uncomfortable for me. In the event of a disaster, I could pretty much jump in without missing a beat. Except for that. As far as general life tasks outside of parenting go, I do all the cooking. She does laundry. Oh, she buys the shoes too. Even mine, most of the time.
When it comes to parenting, what are your strengths and weaknesses? What about your wife’s?
My greatest strength is the fact that I’m chill about pretty much everything. Nothing gets to me. I roll with it, all day long. That is also my greatest weakness. My wife on the other hand? A militant perfectionist. She makes lists for days. And follows them to a T. As you can see, this is both her greatest strength and weakness too. With our combined powers, we can either be really really awesome parents, or the worst of the worst, depending upon the direction of the wind that day.
What is the best and worst parenting advice you have received?
Best parenting advice I ever got was “he’s not you.” It is so easy to see yourself in your children and project your own hopes and dreams upon them – to see them as a second chance version of you. But doing that will only make everyone miserable. Realizing that your child is his own person allows you to guide, and not push. Nor steer. Worst piece of advice? “Dora the Explorer is a great show!” We haven’t watched that show in at least 3 years, yet that voice still haunts me. No I don’t want to find Crab Mountain! Just leave me be, Dora. Leave. Me. Be.
What are your hopes and dreams for your children?
Honestly? I want them to find monetary success. I know that money can’t buy happiness and all that, but to quote Toby Keith (yes, I listen to country music, shut up), happiness can’t buy you money. Becoming a “head of household” has made me painfully aware of the struggles families go through in order to put food on the table, get a decent education and go to Disney World. And since Disney is the happiest place on earth, money can to some extent buy you happiness. Sure I want them to realize their potential, follow their dreams, find their zen and all that good stuff, but I won’t breathe a sigh of relief until they make some real money. Just keepin’ it real with you.
What will you be doing this Father’s Day? And what’s a gift you are hoping to receive this year for Father’s Day?
I have no idea what I’ll be doing on Father’s Day. I know there’s a brunch involved. And any day with a brunch involved is awesome by definition. I don’t want anything, materially. I just want to feel like king of the jungle for a day. Usually that involves beer and sloth (not a sloth, but sloth as in laziness – I bet you thought of the animal first because I prefaced it with the word jungle – can you tell I was a psych major in college – not a very good one, admittedly).
» Tell me… Do you have any idea what you will be getting your father and/or husband for Father’s Day? If you still need ideas, check out this post.
